The Joys of Unintended Consequences

Life is full of unintended consequences, those little ‘gotcha’ moments. When life hands you one, the results can be funny or tragic or difficult or puzzling or frustrating — any emotion in the range of human existence. And it’s there that the writer finds his story.

When my sister’s kids were young, they sometimes got restless and bored. Colleen, being an inventive mom, was always looking for ways to keep them busy. One day when her six-year-old son complained that he was bored, Colleen handed him and his three-year-old sister each a pair of childen’s scissors and asked them if they would please go out and cut the back lawn.

Of course the kids jumped at the chance to help. They shot out the patio door and began diligently cutting the grass. Colleen supervised them for a few moments before returning to her chores, confident in the fact that her children would be entertained for hours. 

Sounds brilliant, right? The back yard wasn’t so large as to make the task a daunting one, and the children were contentedly working away. 

Or so it would seem. 

When she called the kids in for lunch, she immediately noticed something different about her daughter. Stephanie’s beautiful golden-brown hair was…well, it was no more. Instead, tiny spikes of a variety of lengths dotted her head. When Colleen asked what happened, Stephanie replied, “I cut my hair, Mommy.” 

Yes, indeed. Stephanie had cut her hair. She had cut her hair so short in so many places that the stylist they called for an emergency appointment took one look at her and said, “There’s not much I can do with that. All I can do is even it out.”

That poor woman did the best she could, but Stephanie still looked like a little lamb in shearing season. For weeks, everywhere they went, people would look at Stephanie with sad smiles and give shy, sympathetic glances at the rest of the family. People in line at the grocery store would offer to let them cut ahead. The reason for this odd behavior became apparent one day, when a woman was bold enough to say, “What a brave little girl. Cancer sucks.” 

If life had no unintended consequences, writers would have had to invent them. Those little moments are the raw resources that fuel stories and make them memorable. When Romeo's attempt to stop a fight results in the death of his friend. When Montag brings home the book rather than burning it. When Gertrude drinks the poison intended for Hamlet. Without those surprises, the lives of our most beloved characters would be flat. Boring. Mundane. 

Just as our lives would be without these unexpected moments.